Skerrit Bwoy as in Tom Skerrit on TRU TV and throws a table at a woman

So Tru TV beat all of us showing us all of Skerrit Bwoy's daggering and jumping exploits in 2004. Damn, we're so lame. Even Dustin Diamond knew about Skerrit before we did. But check it out! He throws a table.

Some Thoughts on the Superman Film Franchise

There has been some concern rolling around the nerdier corners of the internet in the past two days after Nikki Finke revealed that Warner Brothers might be putting Christopher Nolan in charge of a new Superman film franchise in a "Godfather" position, which I suppose must be fancy talk for him essentially being the film's executive producer, with an exorbitant amount of control over who ends up directing the movie, and who will star, and who the villains might be...

While at first glance this seems like the best decision Warner Bros. could possibly make, seeing as Nolan is responsible for the most critically and financially successful superhero film of all time, there is reason for some concern... This decision seems to be following the line of thinking Warner Bros. exhibited in the early nineties, when they realized, "Hey, these Batman movies are pretty popular! Dark takes on Superheroes seem to be what everyone wants right now, and we happen to have another enormously recognizable superhero whose film franchise has been dead for over a decade! Let's put the Batman guy on Superman!"

This was the result:

Who gives a shit: Americana

I don't mean Lincoln, Lincoln, Lincoln or Lincoln. I'm talking a sometimes insidious and vapid (although often stated/expressed as deep, enduring and meaningful) in things with historical (perceived or lent) significance, of or possessing some quality of "heritage" and/or "Americana" expressed variously through style (and 2), photography, decor and ethos.

On the surface, this is a problem of authentic personage vs. persona akin to the one discussed below re: Vampy, but that assumes a less than honest adoption of the aesthetic of Americana. To be sure, there are issues of the affluent adopting the trappings of the working class, but that's nothing new. And yeah, right now the Americana aesthetic is hip and trendy: "Affected? Absolutely. Still, how we dress says a lot about who we want to be, and that ache for authenticity—or, at least, the aura of authenticity—is revealing." via Newsweek.

I can't speak for the flannel clad hipsters or the ironic mustache, but personally I like history. I like when things are worn in, used or have some other indication that a human being has touched something, lived in it or with it. Before it fell apart, my first real wallet (not a Hawaiian velcro nightmare) was my grandfathers. I loved that every time I paid for something I thought of him, that I could feel the wallet in my pocket when I walked. The same feeling, albeit a step or two removed, exists when I use anything that evokes craft, or having been made by a person, be it clothes, furniture or anything else.

VABE WIGODA [counterpoint]

abe vigoda

  It’s interesting that Tim takes up the issue of identity first. But my disgust with Vampire Weekend has less to do with how they look, and even less to do with how well put together their music is (blog-come-mainstream hype will guarantee good production for any studio record), rather it has everything to do with what information being conveyed in the music. I speak generically because these aspects include instrumentation, depth of sound, style, appropriation.. blah blah blah blah… it can go on and on with as long of words as you care to use. But that’s the great thing about pop music, and is actually why music criticism is so terrible: it’s because music is virtually indescribable and unless you've heard it, it's pointless to discuss. And actually, I'm going to take this one further, unless you've heard a lot of it, music discourse is pointless.

    Now that we got that out of the way. Some REAL TALK. Listen to Vampy Weekend. Listen to their first self-titled album all the way through (or atleast try to skim through all their myspace songs), and then listen to Contra. None of what I’m going to say next will make sense unless you do. There are a few things that bother me about Vampz and all of them have to do with Contra. It’s not that their lyrics don’t make sense ( I can easily forgive that, Phoenix), or the pillaging of a certain Simon who pillaged from a certain Lady, or that Ezra Koenig’s out of register voice sounds like early 80’s Sting, but it’s that there is so god damn SMUG. I appreciate rappers for their candor: they explicitly tell me they ride on 24’s and that they have a fresh pair of Tim’s for everyday of the week. But for Vampire Weekend, every song sounds like an opportunity for the band to grace us with their presence, not show us music they’re making, or what music is captivating them, or what direction they think the world is head towards. The songs are frothy nonsensical ditties that are framed in precocious lyrics that don't bring a listeners closer to the ineffable; it just sounds like it from a distance. Contradictions also follow, “’not caring ‘ and meaninglessness is something that has been valued in pop music, something that is liberating to listen to” Well that’s true. But that kind of freedom doesn’t seem come across in a well produced song about Horchata.

Not caring eh? What bullshit is this? Well that would probably lead you to band like Abe Vigoda,  with a similar flare for the jangles as Vampy Weekend, all of the intellectual indifference, and none of the smug puke.  Unlike Uncle Vamps, we have noisy, lo-fi, self-described tropical punk rock and sure, why not agree? The music exploits the feeling of freedom afforded with real apathy. My presence is not being violated by their “greatness”, and music cues they're drawing from, punk, interestingly stems from what is traditionally understood as white culture. In the coming months, that they’re touring with Vamps, I think its an interesting choice, notably because while one can draw a line of tangency between the two band's sounds, they are and sound, nothing alike. The audience will probably hate it.

I don't care if they're imperialist assholes, I kind of like Vampire Weekend

Wouldn't you like them better if they looked like this? You would, wouldn't you.

This is why pop music "criticism" is so terrible: It's all about the simultaneous hatred and attraction of image. If there's a narrative to latch onto, we don't have to do the work of decoding the art itself. And if an artist takes a persona we don't like, God help them.

You might think, what kind of asshole willingly chooses the persona of "prep-school-turned-post-surfer imperialist"? And, well, I can't answer that. I can tell you no one will care about this a year from now.

The more serious charge against Vampire Weekend is that they steal indigenous work. This is indisputable... but it is also indisputable that no composer has ever considered whether putting congas in his symphony is culturally insensitive. Rock music exists only because African drums were put in a kit and paired with guitar. And if modern synth-happy bhangra were made by white people, (white) people would complain that it was bastardization. And it usually is. Terrible.

Should cultural exchange be more equal? Yes. But condemning Vampire Weekend for this problem is silly.

Finally, we accuse them of not having "heart." Are their lyrics vapid and is Ezra Koenig's bored out-of-register singing obnoxious? Of course. But the songs are well-put-together. This is something the crappy band McFadden's going to talk about now could never aspire to.

Boop-Oop-A-Doop: Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me about Betty Boop

Old cartoons are usually pretty much awesome- I for one love old Mickey Mouse shorts, Silly Symphonies, and the like- I've even grown to like a lot of the Loony Tunes stuff, which I had an unreasonable distaste for when I was younger (get exposed to enough Disney at an early age and you feel compelled to take sides). It's a wealth of great ideas and (mostly) kid-friendly gags- slapstick with enough clever humor and erudite references to draw in my enormous galumphing adult brain.

For the most part, though, it's kid's stuff. Even when I drag in all the experimental animation I've been exposed to (Begone Dull Care springs to mind) I can't help but imagine a rather sanitary set of cartoons inhabiting the dawn and expansion of hand-drawn animation in the early 20th century.

If only someone had given me the proper rundown on Betty Boop.

Just in case you're wondering

You can purchase sweet body pillows here:

http://animepillows.com/

good morning!

SNUGGIEZ

Hey Bro,

This is the oddest thing I've ever seen on the internet. I hope whoever perpetrated this offense if found and tried to the fullest extent of the law.

Finally, the Secrets of News Reporting Revealed